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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member Annie I.Female/United States Group :icontheagencyfans: theAGENCYfans
 
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Listen. Read. Or not. Whichever. :)

It's been a trip for sure, all this art and comics. But it's gotten very hard to stay motivated. I always try to look on the bright side of things, but I have my limits. The reason why I've been away this past month is because I thought I reached that limit a few weeks ago.

I'm not telling you this so that you can feel sorry for me, but so you may understand why I've had a tough time returning.

Other than me noticing that people are leaving me behind (whether they don't like where my comic is going, my pace is getting too frustrating to handle, or I don't post what they originally watched me for), there's been some issues outside of the internet that have been making me sad.

Because of some deformity issues, I am in pain every day. It's a pain doctors and therapists say I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. Thankfully, it can be reduced to a dull pain if I manage my diet and exercise, but that's not really what you want to hear if you wish for total relief, right? I mean, it even hurts to draw because drawing requires for me to usually lean forward. That is, unless you have the right tools. Which I don't. I've tried to work on the pages and much as I could, but it wasn't enough to make progress. Most of the time, I would give up, crawl on the bed and lay on an ice pack for the rest of the afternoon. I was just absolutely done. Not sure if I even mentioned it, but sometime after my grandmother passed away, my other grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Michael and I are in a huge financial hole and I can't afford the plane ticket to be there for her. Michael is the breadwinner, but his paycheck is not enough. I can't find a job suitable for me. Those jobs that are suitable don't want to hire me because I can't lift more than 10 pounds or have limited mobility or can't stand for long, etcetera.

So... it's more than a little frustrating. Don't worry, I'm okay. ^_^

I've been waging emotional war with myself for the past month. But it occurred to me that I would remain in this ugly cycle if I just lie back and let the depression fester. I need to draw. I need to write. It's my soul medicine. You are all one of the many reasons why I still post online and haven't retreated into a hole. Each one of your messages to me is a little bit of warm sunshine and I am floored that I've garnered as much attention as I have. It has forced me to continue, to challenge myself and to change.

Thank you all! I love you so much and I don't know where I would be without your words! I'm posting again after a month long hiatus because you are worth it! I remembered my personal mission statement from many moons ago... and it was that you can do amazing things if you just don't quit! I want you all to know that and even practice it on your own! :heart:

My art is still going. AGENCY is still going, you never have to worry about that. But please understand that I have to manage my pace. My health depends on it. But you know what? I believe my health also depends on my art. Nothing feels quite as good as finishing something you start. :)

I'm trying to figure out a way I can show my appreciation without hurting myself or deviating from my current mission. I'll figure it out. And I will tackle you all to the ground with my caring. Currently trying to invent a way to get work done without having to strain my back and neck. Maybe I can experiment with lying down. Hehe, that sounds really crazy, but it's worth a shot.

Also, I've been posting in other places! If you want to stalk me, here's YouTubehere's Tumblr and here's a Twitter account I have never used except for a single tweet from a retirement party I attended. I'm going to start using Twitter more often, though. So follow if you want!
I apologize for the inactivity, guys. I have not been feeling well and haven't even been able to check my messages. Hope you're all doing well!
(TL;DR version is below in bolded text.)

I would like to get everyone's opinion on something. Usually, I would make a poll about this sort of question, but I am membership-less at the moment and a journal can give more information, truthfully.

As most of you know, finances and the earth we stand on both don't particularly favor me. I am always under some sort of financial duress (Lord willing, that will stop this year! :)) or pulled away from my tasks by life punching me hard in the solar plexus.

I understand this is a normal thing and I live under the philosophy that I must be happy and take care of what I have before I'm blessed with better. Let's take my laptop, for instance. I've had my massive, lovable paperweight for who knows how long-- probably 6 or 7 years now. The model of the laptop, however, is a decade old. The only reason it's still alive is because I have never connected it to the internet. Not even once. All it's good for is for drawing and typing... and for the past 6-7 years, I've been bringing AGENCY to you courtesy of that laptop, flash drives and a secondary computer with internet.  I have to travel outside my home to upload something, because we have no other computer to call our own.

I have been very happy and grateful for it. But the joyride is coming to an end. The poor thing is slowing down, crashing often due to old age and the inconveniences are growing larger and larger. I have no interest in getting a cheap, little replacement to get by and I am absolutely not wanting to "repair" this old thing. I will take advantage of every ounce of energy my old friend can provide, but what will happen when it's all said and done?

Well... I have been able to acquire a good scanner. And a wireless one, to boot.

I would really like to get your opinion. If worse comes to worse, how would you feel about AGENCY being traditionally inked and colored (either marker or watercolor) for a little [undetermined] while?

Believe me, I wouldn't like to lose the quality of my digital art, but I would rather choose this and for the show to go on instead of having another stupidly long hiatus. I do have commissions going on, odd jobs here and there trying to make money and prevent it from happening, but your outlook matters to me as well!

Please let me know and thank you for reading!

deviantID

JediAnnSolo
Annie I.
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
I've devoted a lot of my free time to fanart until getting to the point that it's hard to stop. Professional artists will most likely see that as a fault in me. But it's been effective practice. AGENCY is the biggest fanfiction I've ever made and quite possibly the last before I move on to broader pastures. I love seeing that people are enjoying the story and I hope some are willing to stick around and watch me beyond that.
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:iconheartinathepony:
HeartinaThePony Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Do you take requests?
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(1 Reply)
:iconmissclassylady11:
MissClassyLady11 Featured By Owner May 7, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Hi Mrs.Annie
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(1 Reply)
:iconttaf:
TTAF Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2015
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(1 Reply)
:icondragonranger10:
Dragonranger10 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
hey do you use paypal for commission if so then you might want to check this out .
des-shinta.tumblr.com/post/117…
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:iconbadlittlegabby:
badLITTLEgabby Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
hug YOU HAVE BEEN HUGGED!Llama Emoji-60 (Snug or Hug) [V3] ^_^:
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)
RULES:

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 10 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

HAPPY EASTER DUDE HUGS Hug 
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